"You don't need to justify"

A good friend of mine dropped by yesterday. It was her first time meeting V because we had been limiting visitors, tgen when we felt comfortable having more people over, she got sick. After our standard 2 week quarantine, we scheduled another date, but that night was rough so I ended up rescheduling again.

Of course, before she came over, I somewhat apologetically asked her if she was sick or anyone in her household was sick. As she walked in the door, I explained to her the usual hand cleaning procedure and asked her to take her sandals off. 

Then, as she was leaving, I mumbled an apology about not having seen her earlier. She stopped me midsentence and said : "You don't need to justify. I would probably do the same." Amazing! I didn't know it until I heard it, but I really needed someone to tell me that. Instead of a look of: "Again? You want me to wash my hands again?". It felt absolutely amazing to feel validated! Who knew? And instantly, I had a whole lot more confidence in her hand hygiene capabilities and was less worried she would expose V to illness. 

If you are in contact with a preemie parent, validate their point of view, their precautions. Ask them what you can do to minimize infection risk. Vocalize that first, you have to wash your hands. They need it, because they realize in a so-called normal world their positions appear extreme. You will make them happier and more at ease than you can imagine!

Xo

C