Here we are a few weeks out of our very first lock in season. You would think that we would be all over running around outside, taking in the beautiful weather and the fresh air... but we're not. At least, we haven't yet. The thing is, we live right in the middle of a big city and with lung precautions still in full effect (do they ever really go away?) we don't really know how to proceed.
I think this fear of the outdoors is influenced by a few factors:
1) People in our area are quite heavy smokers. This freaked me out when I was pregnant with V, and now that she has BPD, it pretty much keeps us in the house. I don't really know how I would go about telling some stranger in the street, on the sidewalk, to stay clear of us with their toxic smoke without totally losing it. I realize that they would have no way of knowing my baby has lung problems and are fully allowed to smoke outside, but I'm afraid of exposing V and I'm afraid of how I might react.
2) The very first respirologist who saw V was super nice and must have gone over precautions with me for about 30 minutes during our first meeting in the NICU. These precautions included getting a HEPA filter, keeping our windows closed (we live on a busy bus-ladden city street) oh and by the way maybe it would be best to move to the country. Move?!? Far away from the NICU, the children's hospital, our emergency lifeline? In the middle of this crazy NICU hospitalization? We just aren't ready for that yet. So in the meantime, we are stuck in lock in limbo because while flu season has been over for weeks, busses and trucks and fine particulate continue to be kicked up outside our front door so we stay inside with the windows closed and our HEPA filter on...
3) Since we live in the city, it is very difficult to go anywhere alone. Just yesterday I walked to a store (my mom was at home with V) and I crossed paths with about 20 young children. For some reason about half seemed to be coughing. And you know how most 4 year olds cough : mouth wide open, spewing germs EVERYWHERE without a second thought! Also, the times we've gone to doctors appointments with V, we have to constantly shoo off people who want to touch her, hospital secretaries, random health care professionals in the hallway, strangers and their kids on the street. They think she is so cute and little and I'm sure it is well intentioned, but their dirty little hands terrify me!!
I realize this seems a bit crazy from an outsider's point of view and maybe it is even from a preemie parent point of view, who knows... But until someone can tell us it is safe for our sweetie to go outside in our unfortunately polluted little world, we will continue staying locked in.
Our best solution for now is to plan a weekend day trip to the country, hopefully next weekend.
Any ideas on tricks to protect her lungs, but still go out? I'm getting a little stir-crazy. Help!!
Xo
C
I understand this completely. It's really tough to guage what's safe and what's not especially after only one lockdown season and when they are still so small. We have had a lot of luck driving to a park nearby and walking along the periphery, away from kids and people. It gives us both something to look at while staying a safe distance away. As all other preemie parents have told me, I will tell you the same. Do what makes you comfortable. If you aren't sure or if you feel it's unsafe, who cares if someone else disagrees. You need to feel like it's ok for you and V. If that means a summer of lockdown too that's ok. Just be sure you take care of yourself and get out without V and remind yourself that you're a person too!
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